I have made the choice or have been given no choice in this matter.  Either way, divorce is in the works and may consume me for a while.  Even though it is becoming more common in society, it is very personal now.

Have I tried marriage counseling, help of friends and advisors, prayer, and everything else to save the marriage?  Have we considered a temporary separation or reconciliation?

Where do I turn for answers?  What do I have to do next?  What are the options?

This is one of the most emotionally charged times of my life and sometimes logic is pushed back by feelings.  I must try to put things in perspective and do my part to keep peace and “take the high road” even if others don’t.  Why?

• My children are watching and my actions set a pattern for them.
• The way I treat others now will minimize problems later on.
• I will have fewer opportunities to regret what I might say since there is no way to retract words or undo the hurt they bring.

Philippians 4:6-7 (NKJV) “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;  and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

• We both agree to the divorce (though maybe reluctantly)
• We both agree to work out the settlement of property, visitation, etc.

1. File all necessary paperwork with court clerk (with or without the use of an attorney to assist in preparation of documents).  What paperwork?
   • Petition (formal request to the court for a divorce)
   • Answer (answers the petition)
   • Waiver (waives the right to a formal hearing or trial before the court)
   • Testimony (names, dates of marriage, grounds for the divorce, status of pregnancy)
   • Agreement (statement of grounds for the divorce, custody, visitation, child support, division of property and debt, etc.)
   • CCWD certification (letter from one of the providers for each party - only when children are involved)
   • Child support forms (forms listing income of each party, child support calculation, statement of compliance with the guidelines)
   • Final decree (signed by Judge when all above is complete)
2. The Court Clerk holds paperwork for 30 days (state law requires 30 day “cooling off” period); sends file (when all paperwork is complete) to the Judge who then signs the final decree; sends it back to the Clerk for processing and filing.
3. Clerk provides final decree to both parties by registered mail.

• One party files for divorce and the other party does not want it
• Either party refuses to come to agreement on child custody, visitation, division of property, etc.

1. Whichever one of us chooses to get the divorce files the petition with Court Clerk.
2. Both of us should hire an attorney to prepare appropriate petition documents and protect our interests.
3. Clerk sends petition to the Judge to set it on the docket for a pre-trial hearing.
4. A pre-trial hearing is set for approximately 45 days from that date.  Court must allow time for the defendant to be served with the divorce petition.  Defendant has 30 days to answer the petition once it is served.
5. If we are able to reach an agreement prior to the pre-trial, our attorneys will notify the court of this and we will be given 30 days to present the proper paperwork.
6. If we are unable to reach an agreement we must appear at the pre-trial hearing and attempt to reach an agreement (both lawyers present).
7. If we reach an agreement at pre-trial we are given 30 days to submit the proper paperwork.
8. If we cannot reach an agreement we are given a date to return to court for mediation.
   • Mediation is provided by attorneys on volunteer basis one Friday each month from 9-12.  No charge for this opportunity.
9. If we appear for mediation and reach agreement we are given 30 days to submit the proper paperwork.
10. If we cannot reach agreement we are either sent to private mediation or set for trial.
    • Private mediation consists of both of our attorneys plus an independent attorney serving as mediator.  Cost is a minimum $300 in advance plus $100 per hour for each additional hour plus our attorney fees.
11. If the case goes to trial, the judge will make the final ruling based on testimony and evidence presented and all decisions are final.
    • It is our responsibility (if not represented by an attorney) to submit all the proper paperwork to the court in a timely manner.  Failure to do so will result in delay of the process.
    • If there are children involved, a final decree will not be signed until the couple completes a Children Cope With Divorce class.  This class may be taken at any time during the process.  It is strongly recommended any children involved in the family also participate in a comparable children’s class available through some providers.

In even the best of cases, divorce is traumatic and the effects can last for years.  Children do suffer from the impact for many years, though in many cases silently.  I do not want that for my kids.  I will make them my priority throughout this process!

John 13:35 (NKJV) “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Please consider our sincere offer to listen, talk, and share concerns about the future as well as an opportunity for Bible study together at any time.

This brochure is not intended to include all possibilities or define how every case is handled.  There can be many twists and turns along the way depending on how each party acts.

Killen Church of Christ is a provider of the CCWD requirement through the Divorce and the Kids class.  Concurrent special classes for children aged 3 to 10 and 11 to 18 are provided to help parents and their children through this process.

The Divorce Recovery Class meets each Wednesday at 7:00 to provide ongoing guidance and support for anyone going through a divorce.  Family and friends are welcome to attend to provide better support.  Classes for children of all ages are offered at the same time.

For more information please contact us:
Killen Church of Christ
1560 Hwy 72E.
Killen, AL 35645
Phone 256-757-2918
kchurchofchrist@bellsouth.net