Why do I feel so bad anyway?  It is natural.  Unless we are cold and heartless individuals we hurt when others hurt and even feel like we may have caused it.  In a divorce, it is common for the victim to still feel guilty for things like: I may have been able to stop it; I should have seen this coming; I wish I could have done something different; if only . . .

I must keep in mind that everyone is responsible for their own choices and I did not make the other leave or break the marriage.  I did not make them do those things which broke our vows.  People do make mistakes and make bad choices which affect themselves and many others around them.

When I have turned it all over to God, what right do I have to hold on and keep beating myself up with an issue that is now His?  Turning loose of these feelings is very hard, but very necessary for me to be able to move on in the healing process.

David paints a beautiful picture of the loving and caring Father in Psalm 23.

I messed up and broke the marriage.  Yes, maybe it wasn’t ALL my fault, but I really know deep down inside that I am the one who caused the split.

The consequences will still be there.  I cannot go back and change the past.  I can change the present and future.

David, the great king and example in the Bible messed up big time by adultery, murder, and pride but when he realized it he asked for and received forgiveness.  Read Psalm 51 for a beautiful message of penitence.

Paul reminded us of that deliverance in Colossians 1:13-14 (NKJV) “He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins.”

I am still too close to the problem and still going though the grief process of divorce. My emotions get in the way of allowing the healing power of God to work in me.  However, I know that I can get better as long as I will trust my Maker to allow it happen. We generally are not equipped to “turn off” feelings.  It takes time and opportunity for healing.

Psalm 27:14 (NKJV) “Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!”

Colossians 3:15 (NKJV) “And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body; and be thankful.”

I likely am not strong enough at this challenging time of life to deal logically with all these emotions by myself.  I must turn it over to my God!

Philippians 4:6 - 7 (NKJV) “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;  and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

My true friends really want to help but may not know when or how.  I must give them an open door, especially those who have been down this same painful road.  Galatians 6:2 (NKJV) “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

Continuing to dwell on the past, which I cannot change, does no good and keeps the wound raw.  Every time I go back there I must replace that thought with something clear, bright, positive, exciting, and something I look forward to.  Something like: “With God’s help I will be doing _____ within the next year”.  “I have a plan in place to _____ within 2 years”.  “I am looking forward to _____”.  “My kids and I are working toward ______”.  “I will start a program to make myself feel better physically by ______”.

None of this is easy or fast but it is a necessary step toward finding peace and moving on in my new life.

John 13:35 (NKJV) “By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Please consider our sincere offer to listen, talk, and share concerns about the future as well as an opportunity for Bible study together at any time.